Pure Foods Eggs Are Bad

by Pedicabo Vos & Irrumabo

    Pure Foods Eggs Are Bad
   (words and music by Informal)
   I went to the Fresh Food Market to get supplies one day
   It is not so far from me, down Salamanca way
   Therein I bought a box of eggs—and fresh ones, I believed—
   but five of them were rotten and and this is why I’m grieved.
      Those Pure Foods Eggs, they are certainly not pure—
      whether they be food at all, I cannot be sure.
      If you wanted counsel, this is what I’d say:
      “those Pure Foods Eggs are not worth the price you pay.”
   So, don’t use them in your kitchen unless you feel like retchin’;
   don’t use them when it’s time to cook unless you’re keen on being crook;
   and don’t use them to make a cake: that would be a bad mistake;
   omit them from your quiche Lorraine unless you fancy stomach pain;
   don’t use those Pure Foods Eggs at all—aye, that is my advice—;
   they’re not pure and they’re not food, and they’re not very nice.
      Pure Foods Eggs are bad, Pure Foods Eggs are bad,
      Pure Foods Eggs are bad, Pure Foods Eggs are bad,
      Pure Foods Eggs are really bad.
   So, don’t use them to make custard or you will be disgusted;
   don’t use them when it’s time to bake unless you quite like stomach ache;
   and don’t use them to make your tea: that would lead to misery;
   omit them from your breaky cup unless you fancy throwing up;
   don’t use those Pure Foods Eggs at all—yes, that is our advice—;
   they’re not pure and they’re not good, no, they’re not very nice.
An mp3 file [2.8 MB]of this song can be downloaded hence; and you can also hear an mp3 file [682 KB] of the song’s chorus sung by Alfred (aged ten, mainly on the left channel) and Thorfinn (aged seven, mainly on the right channel) here:

An entry in Deadman’s blog explains what led to the writing of Pure Foods Eggs Are Bad.
© 2007
last updated: 3 June 2007